No chocolate allowed

So as part of my weight loss kick – it is going well, thanks for noticing! – I decided to stop eating chocolate. I’m not doing this for extreme dieting, or no sugar, or for an alternate Dryjanuary – I just simply want to see how long I can manage without any!

But today – jeez! I have come so close to nomming down on those orange quality streets sitting by my tv. Littlie has been feral and extremely anxious due to a birthday party tomorrow. She’s destroyed her room but knows she has to tidy it before the party. She’s screamed, hissed, growled and hit. She’s cried, insulted and hurt people. There’s just been no stopping her today

And the bloody party doesn’t start until late tomorrow afternoon!!

It’s been impossible to therapeutically parent her today due to her pushing all of us away and being so unkind with her words.

I’m still recovering from whooping cough which is getting a little worse and adoptydad has his own arthritic issues. Add to this our young dog is currently sleeping on our bed due to her big brother passing away at Xmas. I’m convinced she’s in mourning so she’s getting extra cuddles. So this all adds up to exhausted parents with minimal patience, barely keeping the calm!

But that’s ok. I don’t want anyone to think that we know what we are doing all the time. It seems like we hardly ever have our shit together at the moment as we don’t really recognise either of our children in the behaviour they are both displaying.

But again, this is ok. We can suggest it’s Xmas, new year, school holidays, past trauma at this time of year, the dog dying, anniversary of my beloved dads death, different routine, parties, exciting food, back to school,new toys or masses of chocolate. But I think it’s all of it.

So we did the only thing possible. We took ourselves off for some self care and avoided speaking to either child for almost an hour. Obviously we didn’t just leave them at home alone – we all went for a long walk with the pooch in a huge field area. Both kids ran off in to the woods to enjoy their freedom, looking for the best hideouts and getting along with each other. We rambled with the pup who is so wonderfully behaved that we almost skip with happiness as we forget our troubles and nearly forgot we had kids!

It was pleasant. The sun was shining and we were all happy. In true adoptystyle – this did not last! Biggie picked up a stick and began smashing down plants – not something we encourage as he tends to hit sister! And Littlie ran off in to the distance, straight through a boggy patch and lost both shoes!

Sigh. Another day. Another mess to clear up. Another hysterical child thinking we would be mad. Sigh.

And in full circle – I nearly ate chocolate. I almost pulled in to buy some! Instead Adoptydad and I ordered a curry rather than eat as a family and are ready to watch Dracula. Because let’s face it, he’s not as scary as Littlie when she’s let loose!!

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