Seriously the best thing in the world ever!
Ok its not for everyone – it feels silly and unnatural at first and against your historic personal experiences of discipline but it really works and not just with adopted loons!
PACE is Playful, Accepting, Curious, Empathetic parenting
So when your child melts down or is finding life tricky, or is being naughty, rather than getting cross you use one of these styles.
Playful – We find playful is the quickest way to a turn around. Copy, praise the volume of the shout, offer an even bigger lie or tickle it out of them! Kids never ever back down, they will always fight to the death if they believe they are right so turn it playful as thats what kids do best!
Accepting – if littlie is having a strop I might say – ‘I understand you don’t want to go to bed earlier than your brother and I can see youre finding it hard to manage, so mummy will help you by cuddling you in bed for a little bit. That way she knows I get that it is crap to go to bed when your sibling doesn’t but that life is crap like that and always will be! She feels loved but doesn’t win!
Curiosity – Ooh I wonder why Biggie seems nervous and grumpy today – I wonder if its because his head is falling off? or is it because he doesn’t like peas? or is it because theres something at school he’s worrying about? More often that not my biggie then falls apart gushing with information and then we deal with the root problem not the angry behaviour – ignore the behaviour not the child!!
Last but not least – Empathetic – I’m sorry youre not allowed to stay up late. It must be so tough for you too see Biggie stay awake downstairs with mummy and daddy. Its not fair is it? I would feel sad too. Shall we have a cuddle upstairs then as I feel sad too. Can you cuddle me better?
This helps them feel less alone with their problems and like you don’t really want to do whatever they are upset about.
Give it a go honestly – we try one after another if one doesn’t work – move on, don’t flog a dead horse!!
Tag team with a partner if possible and switch between P A C and E.
At the end of it you may be exhausted but you won’t be annoyed at your child anymore and your child won’t be angry and crying and hurting. (fingers crossed and not a guarantee!)
Look on youtube and google for other explanations as this is just how we’ve been taught but its so worth finding out more about it!!
Lots of love